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Chorna’s Journal – 2021.03.20📔✍️

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This has got to be one of the most surreal couple of weeks that’s gone by. I guess I’ll start with the big stuff:

Our Mental Health.

Just as I was coming out of my post-natal depression, my wonderful, most amazing husband was struck down with the most horrific and awfully torturous depression and anxiety.

He’s struggled with it for over a year, although arguably for far longer based on the things he’s endured over the last 5-6 years. It all came to a head a couple of weeks ago when he finally asked for my consent to try and get him sectioned. If you’re not sure what sectioning is, you can learn more about it here.

As a wife, these aren’t the sorts of things you think you’ll have to do some day. How do you justify giving permission for your husband to go away and have so many of his liberties stripped from him? Alright, so this was for his health, but I had hoped that we’d exhaust every option possible before going down the sectioning route. Unfortunately at this point we really felt we had run out of options, and I couldn’t with any form of reasonable compassion ask Aidan to keep enduring more, knowing the superhuman lengths he’s been going through to find a treatment and lifestyle that worked for him to overcome his depression.

Aidan has posted on our Discord server about his experience, and shared a post on his Facebook profile also. But the friends and family – which includes many Pixels – who reached out to us directly and checked in with us both throughout this time deserve our eternal gratitude. You guys helped us keep it together, even as things were crumbling around us.

Thanks for the UK’s National Health Service (NHS), Aidan had free access to some wonderful mental health crisis support, and it started with us arriving at the local hospital’s emergency department and asking for Aidan to be admitted to be assessed for sectioning. A week later, my husband came home, having been allowed to stay at a sanctuary for those struggling with their mental health (which he could leave at any time), and had benefitted from access to a trained psychiatrist and counsellers to talk to every day.

Now he’s home, I can say we’re noticing a positive difference, slowly but surely. And we hope that this continues.

I Tidied Up. A Lot.

I coped with the upheaval of having Aidan gone from my life for a week by keeping myself busy with a house tidy up.

It’s amazing how little things can pile up until it feels almost like an insurmountable task. I had the help of my mum to look after Gabriel while I enlisted my brother for some quick bits of DIY – notably getting up a mirror on the wall that we’ve had just kinda laying around, collecting dust since 2016, and helping me empty out and dispose of at the recycling centre a couple of janky MDF chest of drawers we bought when we first moved here but were now simply falling apart.

My mother helped me move some furniture around, too, and the house feels better utilised as a result. My favourite part of the house is now the front entrance which feels so different thanks to the mirror on the wall. I couldn’t help but think about all of the things I’ve learnt about home design thanks to messing around in The Sims 4 during streams. Mirrors really do open a space up!

We Really Do Love Our Son Gabriel.

For all the hardships we endure, there’s a constant bright light in our lives and that’s our son Gabriel. He’s learning to do so many new things every day, and his expressiveness is increasing on a daily basis. It makes being around him such a delight, and most recently I’ve been cherishing the little things like the fact he understands when I tell him it’s time for a bath, or time to brush our teeth (of course we brush our teeth together). I love that he indicates to me he no longer wants to eat something with a shake of his head, and I never force him to eat more than he can handle. And recently he’s taken to shoving things to people – like a can of coke to my face because eveidently I’ve been drinking far too much cola around our son…

I’ve waited to become a mother for such a long time, I truly cherish that despite not having a lot of financial stability, I can still spend so much time at home with the people most important to me: my son, my husband, my parents, my brother.

They always say that it’s not the quantity of something that matters, but the quality. This is most certainly true of relationships.

And Finally Something Funny.

I wrote this up because it is both funny and frustrating. If you have moments like this, please do share them with us in our Discord – because it’s nice to know I’m not the only one banging my head against the figuritive table.

Dad: oh, why has this printed so tiny?
Me: (takes a glance at the screen) change the page size to A4.
Dad: how do I do that?
Me: select the paper size.
Dad: ok I will close this first –
Me: – no, you need to stay on the print page
Dad: ?
Me: press print again.
Dad: (hovers everywhere except print and then… c l i c k)
Me: now select paper size to A4
Dad: (reads out every single word on the screen) there’s no paper size option
Me: click on ‘advanced settings’…
Dad: there’s no ‘advanced settings’.
Me: (glances) click More Settings…
Dad: (gets it to print up A4)
Dad: why is it black and white?
Me: why do you need it in colour?
(My dad’s printed a photo of a text document)
Dad: why is the text so small?
Me: because of the way the picture was taken.
Dad: I don’t think this is the same picture
Me: it’s the same picture
Dad: look, on my phone it looks better
Me: . . .
Dad: (looks through emails on his laptop) no it’s not the same picture. It’s definitely not the sa – wait. Yes. Yes, it’s the same picture.
Me: . . .
Dad: I’m going to print it in colour.
Me: why?
Dad: it will look better and give me more details.
Me: . . .
Dad: (prints it in colour) oh, it’s come out all white.
Me: because you don’t have any colour ink left, dad.

Helping Dad with Tech | Episode #382926

About the Author

Chorna once enjoyed a successful career in the gaming industry in various roles - from marketing and community management, to game designer. She continues to write delicious bits of text you've consumed from various brands but never knew it.

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